“Thank you for calling! This is Atria. How may I help you?”
Have you heard I’ve already got a job? Yes! After 7 months of staying at home, job hunting that I didn’t take seriously and waiting in vain for my job opportunities in the US— I’ve finally decided to work here in Manila! *slow clap*
But after I received the contract— I have these mixed emotions. I am happy that I am no longer a coward because I faced my fears and applied for a job (Again! After the number of trying times that I can’t count anymore haha), no longer a loser because I was hired and I didn’t quit. Also, I am excited about learning new skills! Oh yeah, communication, I need you! But quite sad because some people (might) thought that I got the job because of my connections (?) and not because I deserve it? It was frustrating, really. That I wanted to leave the job right away! *sighs* But in a positive note, I use it as my motivation to work well and be good at it. I have to prove them wrong! Woah! Spirit! Haha!
I knew it! It wouldn’t be easy because I know what my capabilities are — I AM NOT FIT IN THIS JOB! I am not even close to their qualifications *Insert crying emoticon here* Well, that’s what I thought. But my sister who cares about me a lot and who believed in me said before, ” Kaya mo yan! I know you always excel in everything you do.” Pressure! Thanks, ate Kenn! Ayiieee!
I am talking about — Customer Service Rep. The job that involves a lot of talking, patience and strength. For me, it is one of the most difficult job! Imagine talking to an irate guests and working on a graveyard shift— hands down to all the CSR’s right there! And the job I never thought of doing. First, because I’m not a fluent english speaker — not even good in speaking in front of many people kahit tagalog pa yan! Second, I am scared because of my perception that it’s DIFFICULT!
Two weeks have already passed, and it seemed that I still haven’t totally adjusted yet — on the culture, environment and the people. I enjoy the training, though! I am learning! Woah! I’m so happy about it! And our trainers— oh my! They are amazingly awesome and the best! (I will write a different post about them. At the right time, kapag hindi na ko nahihiya at pag hindi ko na sila teachers?Teehee.) Even the company itself, I am so proud that I am now a part of it.
But as they always say, “You can’t have it all.” This work experience is really testing me physically, mentally and emotionally! And I’m feeling unstable somehow. Oh, poor me! I guess being emotionally unprepared affects me. Every time I step in our training room I feel nervous — I’m scared that I’ll not be able to do things right and that out of a big group of people I’d feel alone. When I say mentally and physically… I know you know what I mean.
I felt weak when negative perceptions of people around me cause me to be totally drained out. Reality? I cried over it in a day that I made my family worried because they never saw me break down and cry, unless we fight. They never saw me as vulnerable as I was that time. To be judged (sorry for the word) without knowing who you really are and without making an effort to do so did hurt me. I understand them the way they talk and the way they act — they confidence is really admirable! And for them to understand me? I felt sorry for myself. *Insert rolling-on-the-floor-crying-emoticon here* Some made me feel like I don’t belong which brought me to a point to question my personality. It’s not the acceptance that I wanted but please…RESPECT.
Right now, I think I’m getting over it! Yehey! It’s a good sign, right? I am learning to understand them more. Like they always say, “Everything you see is just the tip of an iceberg.” So,BE KIND. ALWAYS.
I realized that what other people say about me should not matter because I know who I really am and I have my family and friends who love me for who I am. People who has something to say behind your back, they are behind you for a reason. Remember that, Atria!
Oh! Do you also believe that people throw rocks on things that shine? Anyways…
I’m starting to be CONFIDENT and I’m staying STRONG – which are the keys to survive in this field! It is tough. But I’ll keep on fighting. I will make my sister proud! Naaaks!
I apologize for my random thoughts and my ka-dramahan. And, thank you! 🙂
A Diamond in the Rough